


A Snake And A Marshmallow

by saibug1022



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Gen, Hurt Morality | Patton Sanders, Morality | Patton Sanders Angst, Morality | Patton Sanders-centric, Protective Deceit | Janus Sanders, Sympathetic Deceit | Janus Sanders
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-06
Updated: 2020-09-06
Packaged: 2021-03-07 01:15:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,593
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26328505
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/saibug1022/pseuds/saibug1022
Summary: Janus helps Patton with his memories. (Takes place in Chapter 22 of Creating/Finding Yourself)
Relationships: Deceit | Janus Sanders & Morality | Patton Sanders
Comments: 3
Kudos: 44
Collections: We Can't Keep Running Away From Who We Are





	A Snake And A Marshmallow

**Author's Note:**

> Ta-da! One-shot! I hope you guys like it!  
> Trigger warnings: The usual. Memory shit, mentions of child abuse, biological parents, self-deprecation, mentions of dysphoria, scratching, panic attack, crying

Janus liked to think, no he knew, that he was really fucking good at reading people even without his powers. This was definitely true when it came to the people he was close to. So considering Patton was the person he was closest to out of everyone he knew, it was pretty damn obvious that Patton was bullshitting him when he said he had to go do something in his room, even if Janus’s powers confirmed the lie.

It was mainly odd because Patton was the one that suggested they all hang out while Virgil and Logan were out getting the buckeye wood. But then he started to draw in on himself and was hardly speaking up which was like code red when it came to Patton’s emotions. At first Janus thought it was dysphoria or something but he hadn’t been scratching, at least not yet, so it was definitely something else. When Patton excused himself and didn’t come back Janus figured he should probably go check on him, so he went into the bedroom he and Patton had claimed.

He was expecting Patton to be hiding under the blankets and the lights to be off but instead he saw his brother sitting criss cross in the middle of the bed crying. There was a notebook in his lap and a pen on the bed but Janus couldn’t give less of a shit because Pat was fucking scratching. Janus was kneeling on the bed in front of him before he could even blink and grabbed Patton’s hand, holding it away from his arm. Patton wiped his tears away and smiled at him but Janus didn’t even bother to acknowledge it, instead grabbing the arm and examining the scratches. He didn’t break skin, so that was good. 

“What’s wrong, Marshmallow?” Janus asked gently. 

“It’s nothing,” Patton tried to assure, smile staying on his face despite how clearly fake it was. “I was just...uh...feeling off. Why don’t you go back out with Remus and Roman and I’ll be out in a sec, okay?”

“No you weren’t and no you won’t,” Janus argued. “Patton, human lie detector, remember?”

Patton glanced down at the bed. “Yeah, I remember kiddo. Not that you ever needed those powers to call me out.”

“Nope you’re a god awful liar,” Janus replied cheerily. “But no deflecting. What’s wrong?”

“I just got a little confused,” Patton said with a shrug, still looking at the bed so Janus couldn’t see his face. In Janus’s knowledge a  _ little _ confusion didn’t result in tears and scratching (unless you were Logan but that kid had issues).

“About?”

“Things.”

“Patton Morales…”

“Did we ever go to King’s Island together?” Patton blurted out. Okay, topic change.

“Um no, we went to Disney like twenty times, though I guess like half of them weren’t real,” Janus answered. “Why?”

“I thought…” Patton trailed off then shook his head. “Uhg, damn it!”

“Okay something is definitely going on,” Janus declared and squeezed his hand. His voice softened. “Pat, talk to me. What’s going on?”

Patton shook his head again and finally looked back up at Janus, eyes filled with tears and smile gone. “I...I...I can’t…” Patton broke off as his tears overflowed down his face. 

Janus released his arms so he could pull Patton close and hug him as his brain worked in overtime. For a second he thought Patton just really fucking wanted to go to King’s Island but he sincerely doubted that. But why did he seem so upset then? And why did he think they had gone.

“I...I, I’m sorry,” Patton mumbled into Janus’s shirt. “I’m so sorry JJ. I...I’m trying! I swear I...I want to...I’m trying!”

“Marshmallow what are you talking about?” Janus asked. “What are you trying to do?”

“Remember!” Patton sobbed. “I...I’m trying! I’m s-s-sorry!”

“Oh Patton,” Janus sighed and kissed the top of his brother’s head. “It’s okay, buddy. You don’t have to apologize. You have two sets of memories occupying the same space, makes sense your memories would be fucked up. I know you’re trying but you don’t need to go crazy trying to do it.”

“B-b-but I, I thought we...I thought we went to king’s island,” Patton cried. “B...but that was with L-Logan. He...He’s gonna t-think I forgot too! I...I don’t wanna make you guys sad!”

“Patton Logan is just glad you remember him at all. He won’t be upset, he knows you aren’t doing it on purpose. Plus, what have we talked about when it comes to assuming everyone else’s thoughts and feelings, especially future ones?”

“It...it’s n-not good.”

“Exactly. Come on, this is fucking  _ Logan Valley _ we’re talking about here. Literally all you have to do is call him Loganberry and he’s goddamn putty. I don’t think he could be mad at you if he tried.”

“He should be,” Patton muttered. 

“No bad.” Janus pulled back just enough to lightly flick Patton’s forehead. Patton squeaked quietly before re-burying himself in Janus’s shirt.

“But he was so happy,” Patton said quietly, voice still unsteady but not as bad. “I don’t wanna disappoint him, or you.”

“You could never disappoint me,” Janus swore. “And have you considered Logan of all people would most understand that you’d probably be pretty confused for a while? He probably knew that going in because he’s a fucking nerd that knows shit like this.”

“I guess,” Patton conceded. “I just thought I could figure it out myself, and you guys would never have to know.”

“I’m sure that you could. But you don’t have to. And I think it’d be a lot easier with your friends’ help, don’t you?”

“Yeah,” Patton admitted. “Plus you and LoLo can actually tell me for sure which is which. Virgil may have some tricks too.”

“Exactly.” Janus tightened his arms around him squeezing way too hard on purpose just to mess with him. Patton giggled as he wiggled around in Janus’s arms, a small, real smile appearing on his face. “While we’re here, any other memories got you confused?”

“Uh, yeah,” Patton admitted a little reluctantly. He took a deep breath and snuggled even closer to Janus before continuing. “Uh, ice cream fridays?”

“Yup that was us,” Janus confirmed. “Same with just about everyone else in Florida considering it’s fucking  _ Florida _ .”

“True,” Patton chuckled. “Yeah, okay, cause Logan and I had a different weekly treat. Thomas would get us hot chocolate on Monday’s in the winter to get a good start to the week.”

“God Thomas sounds literally amazing.”

“Yeah he was great,” Patton mumbled. “He’s probably been so worried…” Patton trailed off for a minute before giving his head a quick shake and naming another memory. “Uh, did you cover me in stuffed animals when I was having a bad day?”

“Nope, Logan.”

“Crap,” Patton grumbled. “Can you reach my notebook, I’ve been trying to write things down so I don’t forget.”

Janus looked around and found the notebook in question which he handed to Patton but of course he couldn’t reach the fucking pen. He frowned at it exaggeratedly and Patton giggled again and shifted slightly so Janus could reach it. He scooped it up and handed it to his brother. Patton took it and flipped through many scribbled on and ripped pages to find a blank one and write it down. He wrote down the thing about ice cream and hot chocolate too.

“Okay,” Patton closed his eyes as he continued speaking. “I honestly have no clue which is which on this next one, I’m sorry.”

Janus just flicked him again. Patton opened his eyes to give him a glare that was not at all intimidating because it was Patton.

“Okay, who did I have a cat picture book collection with, and who’d I have a stuffed animal collection with?”

Of course Patton had a cat picture book collection. “We had the stuffed animals collection and if you ever tell anyone about that I tell them about your astrology phase.”

“Okay, okay I won’t tell!” Patton laughed as he wrote this memory in his notebook as well. “There are a lot more that I’m confused about because they are all so similar and line up so perfectly, I dunno if they did that on purpose or not, but could I maybe ask about those later? I just don’t like thinking about them for too long because sometimes I end up remembering something I really don’t wanna remember.”

“You know I’ll take every opportunity to go bother the twins.”

“I’m a little worried about the state of that room, we’ve probably left those kiddos alone for too long,” Patton pointed out.

“Place your bets now are they fucking destroying the room or wrestling around,” Janus sighed.

“Both, their wrestling always destroys the room.”

“Why did I have kids?”

“Cause you loooooove us!” Patton teased.

“How dare you accuse me of such a thing,” Janus gasped and pressed a hand to his chest. “I am incapable of any emotion other than rage.”

“Mhmm, whatever you say JJ,” Patton replied as he sat up and closed his notebook.

“Dare you to go tackle Remus. He’s gonna be sitting weird at the very least or on the ground, it should be easy.”

“I will tackle him in a hug!” Patton declared as he hopped off the bed and began hurrying to the door. “Hurry up if you want to see!”

Janus laughed and followed Patton, deciding to ignore that all those memories Patton talked about weren’t even real.


End file.
